Why do some people seem to get what they want out of life while others do not? There are several common actions you can take to get what you want out of life. If you understand these actions, you can increase the likelihood of getting what you want.
Start getting what you want by taking the following actions:
Identify what your want. Just because you’re unhappy with your current situation doesn’t mean that you know what you want. It only means that you may want something different that what you have. In the book “Put Your Dream To The Test” by John Maxwell, he discusses ownership of your dream, is your dream truly your dream? Make sure what you want belongs to you and not passed down by your parents, spouse or significant others.
Make what you want to achieve a priority. Do you really want a million dollars, healthy lifestyle or to be an entrepreneur? Or would you rather watch Friends reruns and eat Doritos at night?
Focus. It’s never been easier to get distracted or forgetful than it is right now. Modern life is full of digital distractions. Our ability to focus has never been lower.
Prepare for the grind. Even the most prestigious accomplishments are a grind 99% of the time. Consider a professional basketball player like Kobe Bryant. There are plenty of stories of Kobe staying after a Friday night game and working with a coach all night long until practice time on Saturday morning.
Focus on the process, not just the results. Obsessing over your weight isn’t the key to getting slimmer. As a matter of fact, it has the opposite effect without a process. The key is the adoption of systems and habits that will help carry you to your goal.
Plan for your success. “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."
"I don't much care where –"
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go.” - Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
It’s imperative that you know were you’re going and have a clear concise plan to get there. Creating a plan brings clarity. Clarity creates focus.
Life is frustrating and challenging. It can be especially frustrating when nothing seems to go your way. Know what you want and have a logical plan to achieve it. Have the patience to wait for the results to arrive. Prioritize and expect that the path will be monotonous most of the time. You can do it.
Learn about Growth Club, a 90-day plan to help you set your goals, focus, prioritize and stay on track.
I just finished reading The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande which is an intriguing book that makes the case that any discipline can be improved with the use of checklists. Gawande is a surgeon, so most of his examples are in the medical field and he has the statistical research to back up his claim that a simple checklist can save lives. (This book will make you think about some things before going into a hospital!) But he also draws from the fields of finance, construction and aviation to make his point that complex changing disciplines can benefit from checklists. It certainly made me think about how the businesses I know could benefit from checklists - including my own!
Now what he calls checklists, I would call systems. They are a written series of steps taken to complete part of a job. And the point is to follow these steps every time you do that job. Examples in small business could be a sales process, sales script, marketing campaign, the process in which orders are taken, phones are answered, employees are hired and trained, etc. We know that systematizing things will lead to greater efficiency, happiness and profit. Yet there is always resistance to doing this.
Gawande explores this human resistance to checklists. He points out that we just don't like them. They are not fun; they're painstaking. And they are embarrassing. It somehow feels beneath us to use a checklist and it runs counter to our deeply held beliefs about how truly great people work on their own. People fear rigidity and working as mindless automatons. But it is actually the opposite! Systematizing certain processes frees up your brain to think about other things, allowing more creative problem solving to occur.
Every business I know can benefit from systematizing certain procedures, but it is not a smooth process to change over to. It means embracing a culture of teamwork and discipline. And discipline is hard! Having a system in place can help make priorities clearer and can prompt people to function better as a team. But people must be trained in how to use them.
Here are some points from the book about writing a checklist. Use simple, exact working and keep the list short by focusing on the most overlooked and most detrimental steps to skip. The list must be precise, efficient, to the point and easy to use. And it must be practical! Keep it free of clutter and unnecessary colors. And make sure there are communication check points on the list so teams talk to each other. First drafts will almost always need to be revised and rewritten. Test it, change it, and test it again.
Creating good systems takes time up front, but will lead to increased efficiency with fewer mistakes and this will lead to increased profitability in the long run. If you need more convincing about the impact a system can have, I strongly recommend reading this book, The Checklist Manifesto!
President, Chairman and Founder of ActionCOACH, the world's world number one business coaching firm
I have attended hundreds of networking events over the years. These events consist of breakfast meetings, luncheons and happy hours. The main purpose is to meet new people and get to know them better. Many people consistently attend these events and still have no idea how to properly network and connect with others. They tend to think they are building their business and being productive because they spent two hours at an event. Why would you take time away from your already busy day or your family to spend two hours at a networking event and leave with no progress?
Practice these 5 activities to improve your networking efforts.
Networking is about connecting with others
A sure way to sabotage your networking efforts is to try to make a sale the first time you meet someone at a networking event. The networking event gives you the opportunity to meet people, build rapport, learn more about others and ways you can help them. People are sizing you up from the beginning. In John Maxwell’s book, Everyone Communicates, Few People Connect, he discusses 3 connecting questions that people ask themselves about each of us.
Have a clear game plan
The majority of individuals who network don’t have a networking goal. Most people network as a reaction to slow or no business. Become more proactive about your networking efforts. What are you trying to accomplish from your networking efforts? Have you clearly defined your networking goal and created a plan around that goal? Your goals should be SMART goals
Hang out in the same places as your target market
Network in groups that include individuals in your target market or have influence with your target market. If your goal is to connect with other business owners, you should network in groups where you can find business owners. For example,
So many people miss the boat in this area. Do you have a stack of cards from people that you can’t remember when and where you met them? Create a systematic plan to follow up with your people. When you receive a card from someone that you want to follow up with to build a business relationship, notate that on the card so you don’t forget. Follow up with them immediately to schedule a time to meet.
Measure your networking efforts
Just like any other marketing plan you have in place, you need to track and measure the results. Track the number of events you attend weekly, how many people you connected with and how many eventually converted to customers.
How do you maximize your networking efforts. Please comment with Tips that can be helpful to others.
Business Coach &
Certified John C. Maxwell Coach,Keynote Speaker and Trainer
Today I figuratively sat at the feet of Zig Ziglar to learn from
one of the greatest speakers of our times. His wisdom,
a well-earned result of reading 3 hours every morning.
He studied the pillars that make up the knowledge
of self. Those pillars are theology, physiology, and
He spoke of the virtues that are
necessary to have a more productive, moral, and
emotionally healthy society. Some of those virtues
were integrity, compassion, honesty, hard work, and
many more. The seeds of these qualities are in each
of us. The challenge comes with growing and nurturing
It is up to us all to stand up and be
heard in the face of injustice and inequality.
I also know that people can be blessed and overcome
by living a virtue filled life. Be the person that you want
those around you to be and you will attract those people to you.
I challenge you to be a leader. Listen to personal development, read
daily, carry yourself with honesty and integrity, and
give back to others. If you better yourself then you
have automatically made your community better.
VP of Business Development
One thing that is guaranteed in life is, change will happen with our approval or without. Change can consist of you receiving a new job offer or losing an existing job, expecting a new baby, adjusting to a financial marketing crash, or having a heart attack. At the onset of change, stress levels can be intense. However, change can actually help you get over some hurdles and move ahead with your life. Feeling confident in those changes seems impossible at that moment. Mastering adapting to change can bring a formidable change into your life. Consider these strategies to release stress and feel confident in changes in your life:
Change is under my control:
I believe most changes, self-induced or by someone or something else, can have a positive effect on your life. Have confidence when embracing change and watch your life explode with joy and satisfaction.
I'm by no means a child psychiatrist, but I am a mother who, like most mothers, loves her daughter and wants to ensure I help build her self-confidence. As an adult, I look back at my teenage years and realize how hard my mom worked to build my confidence. I remember the days I came home crying because I thought the girls in my class were prettier, smarter, and more athletic than I was. I remember having a crush on this handsome boy in my class. He had perfect skin and was just a tad bit taller than I was at that time. However, he decided to date a different girl. I was in tears, not because he didn’t choose me, but because I didn't think I would find another guy at the school that was the same height as me. As a child, I was concerned about my height. It’s quite amusing when I reminisce. Oh my, how sensitive our confidence can be at such an early age. Most of all, I remember dealing with confidence challenges with my daughter and felt really sorry for putting my parents through all my drama. Here are a few tips to help you build your child's confidence.
Show your children that you love them 100% of the time. Let your child know they’re perfect as they are. Withholding love because of a poor performance is among the worst options a parent can choose. Make it a practice to never go to bed angry. It’s important for a child to know they’re fully supported at all times.
Give your child attention. When you ignore your child, you send the message that they don’t matter. I was speaking with a friend, and he shared with me that whenever his children walk in the room, he stops, stands up, and greets them as if nothing else is important. Turn off the TV or put down the magazine while your child is trying to speak to you.
Pray with your children. God provides us a great deal of strength through prayer. As much as we would like to always be there for our children, we know that they will be required to make decisions independent of us. They need to know that God is there for them at all times. God gives us direction that offers strength and increases confidence. Knowing God is there will give your child the strength and ability to stand up to anything that comes against them. I know it's because of God that I'm still here.
Compliment and praise your child frequently. We all stand a little taller when we hear something positive about ourselves. Address the things your child does well. Give praise freely. I overheard my daughter tell her cousin, "My mom won't let me have low self-esteem." Her cousin asked, "What do you mean?" My daughter said, "She compliments me all the time." Of course, I was a proud mom at that moment.
Stay tuned for the next section... In the meantime, share your stories and tips on how to build your child’s confidence.
By Sheles Wallace
Certified John C. Maxwell Coach, Keynote Speaker and Trainer
As you're sitting down working on your new business plans for the next year, don't forget to Enhance your Self-Love and watch your confidence increase in all areas of your life. Decide you matter as a person. Make a decision that in 2016 you will practice strengthening your Self-Love.
Three ways to love yourself more
Make the Mirror Your Best Friend - When my daughter was in high school, she used to take mirror lipstick and write positive words about herself on the mirror. Every morning and evening she would stand in front of the mirror and give herself a compliment, also known as an affirmation. Think about all your great qualities and congratulate yourself on one of them. There’s no reason to wait for someone else to get around to saying something nice. If you don't compliment yourself, who will? Give yourself a nice compliment right now.
Set Goals - When you have a life with no clear direction of what you want, or you do not understand your life purpose, you feel as if something is missing. This causes you to feel less confident and love yourself less. Having a clear goal and understating your purpose gives you something to feel excited about. Goals help you improve, learn more, and grow in a positive direction to achieving your goals. Don't try to reach the stars before you reach the clouds. Make one small change that will enhance your life in some way. Maybe it’s exercising for a few minutes each week or calling your family once a week. Show yourself that you can grow and become a better version of yourself. Try these easy ideas:
Run as fast as you can from people who drag you down. Do you have someone in your life that is constantly negative and saying things to bring you down? It’s possible that at least one of your relationships is poisoning your life. It might be a friendship, romantic relationship, or a relationship with a family member. Value yourself enough to avoid negative people and relationships.
By Sheles Wallace
8 Strategies to Rebuild Confidence after a Career Setback
Career setbacks can shatter your self-confidence and make it difficult to stay positive. Luckily, however, they don’t have to ruin you or your career. You can rebuild your confidence again and get your career back on track.
Follow these strategies:
1. Put things in perspective. Experiencing a setback is often painful. Learning how to cope with the challenge and quickly recover is affected by your perspective. When I encounter a setback I try to refrain from having an extended pity party. That’s achieved by putting the entire situation in perspective. What is the worse that can happen after this setback? There are examples around us every day describing someone’s setback that far exceeds our own. Focus on helping others get through their setbacks and you will realize that your life is not so bad after all.
2. Remember the successes in your life. A setback doesn’t define your entire life. Your life has multiple aspects beyond work, so it’s important to acknowledge and appreciate them. Analyze the successes in other parts of your life or consider past wins. This would be a great time to start a gratitude journal. Write down things that you are grateful to have in your life.
· Healthy relationships
3. Learn from your experience. Setbacks provide a valuable learning opportunity and the chance to reevaluate your career. John C. Maxwell teaches, “Recognizing your own part in your failing, seeking solutions (no matter how painful), and working hard to put them into place is teach-ability in action.” The difference between wealthy people and non-wealthy people are the number of setbacks experienced. Don’t be afraid of setbacks; expect they will come at some point. Stay focused on continuing to learn and move forward.
4. Stop worrying about what others think - If we were not so concerned about what others think, we would recover from a setback in record time. This goes back to “keeping up with the Jones.” We all have our own path to travel. On that path is greatness. Focus on your path and not others. Avoid isolation and seek out your friends. Isolation can make positive thinking more difficult.
5. Adjust to change – Change is certain to happen. Embrace change and see how it fits in with your continued growth path.
6. Develop your skills - Developing your skills will help increase your self-confidence. “An open mind is the beginning of self-discovery and growth. We can’t learn anything new until we can admit that we don’t already know everything.” – Erwin G. Hall
Michael Jordan was not a success overnight. He did not make his high school varsity basketball team his sophomore year. He didn’t give up; he became a master at practicing his craft. During an interview with ESPN, Michael Jordan stated, all of his practices, became competition for him. Therefore, when it was game time, it felt natural because he had already done it in practice. Kobe Bryant won’t stop practicing until he reaches 400 shots and trains for at least 4 hours a day and longer in the offseason. This is why the debate exists as to whether Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan is known as the top player in NBA history.
7. Take small risks to boost your confidence. Try a new project and get a small win. Small wins help boost your confidence. Small wins can help launch you into momentum if you keep going.
8. Turn a loss into a gain - Steve Jobs did not wake up and immediate have the success that you see with Apple today. In 1985, Jobs was removed from all operational duties of the company he co-founded, by the Board of Directors, and eventually resigned. That was clearly a setback for him. In 1997, Jobs accepted the position to become Apple’s interim CEO. We all know the history from here. Steve Jobs made Apple one of the most successful electronic companies in the world.
6 Ways to Relax and Start Off The Week with Less Stress
Chronic stress can zap your energy and undermine your health. If tensions build up throughout the week, you may have trouble resting and recharging on your days off, or you may be like most entrepreneurs and skip your days off. Then, you start the next week tired from the start. The technological world that we live in today has increased our workday. Many of us have smartphones that unconsciously cause us to work all day and into the night, every day of the week.
Break the cycle with this 6-step plan to squash stress before it accumulates. Start your week off feeling peaceful and relaxed.
1. Slow down. Do you rush around from Monday to Sunday trying to meet work deadlines and deliver your kids to baseball practice on time? Wake up early and leave a gap between appointments. Waking up early gives you alone time to relax and think. Leaving a gap in between appointments will allow you time to recap and evaluate what happened during the appointment. Pause to collect your thoughts, and listen to birds sing.
2. Turn off your phone. During dinner with your family, are you and everyone else on the phone? I can’t express how many times I have been to restaurants and noticed a couple attempting to have a romantic dinner and they are both on the phone texting. Try to disconnect for at least an hour each day. Connect with family and friends face-to-face instead of texting.
3. Pray and meditate. For many adults, spiritual traditions are the ultimate source of stability and contentment. Study inspirational texts and contemplate how they relate to your personal challenges.
4. Express your creativity. Whatever your beliefs, you can blow off steam by engaging in arts and crafts. Play an instrument; create a painting; or make a sweater.
5. Exercise regularly. Physical activity is good for your body and mind. In addition to burning calories, a run through the park will dissolve stress. Find a variety of workouts you enjoy so you can look forward to staying active.
6. Live mindfully. Studies show that humans aren’t very good at multitasking and jumping from one subject to another creates anxiety. Focus on the present moment to accomplish more with less effort.
Marketing on social media is a challenge for most businesses. The traditional way of advertising was more straight forward and had less outlets. Getting the word out in the cluttered social medial space in more challenging than ever. This slide show on "Best LinkedIn Company Pages in 2014 from LinkedIn should be helpful!